Guess what?????!!!

You guessed it, we got PREGGO!, but keep reading

So, I've been trying to think how I would write this post. I'm not the most politically correct person. I probably won't ever be, but I still do not want to offend anyone purposefully today. Here we go.... Ronnie and I have 4 wonderful kids, with which we are very thankful. We have been preventing pregnancy since Silas was born. We haven't taken extreme methods as in surgery, but we are very cautious in the preventing method. If you want further detail, ask later. To my sheer shock I found out Thursday, the 15th of November the most crazy news. Blood tests confirmed, sure enough I was 5 wks pregnant. The irony here is I had just finished my period. Therefore, we did follow up blood work on Monday. I knew deep down this pregnancy wasn't going well. We still told our parents and a few close friends so they could be praying for us. Monday came, I was having pain on my right side and still bleeding. Due to an error by a staff member, my doctor didn't receive my blood work results until Tuesday morning. I was beyond aggravated, I knew from being a nurse (specifically OB triage), I should have been in the doctors' office Monday with an ultrasound. I guess God really wanted to test me here? Tuesday came, blood results showed an atypical HCG rise, so an ultrasound was scheduled to deduce if I had an ectopic pregnancy. Sure enough the ultrasound showed a mass at the base of my ovary connected to the fallopian tube (which is the ectopic) along with an even larger cyst. 
   
 
We proceeded with emergency laprascopic surgery to confirm ectopic pregnancy, to possibly remove the tube and ovary. Right before surgery my pain level increased, turns out my fallopian tube had started rupturing. Thank the Lord for His grace and that I was already prepped for surgery. I had my right fallopian tube removed, and the cyst drained; thankfully I kept my ovary. I guess I have a very high pain tolerance because several doctors, nurses, and sonographers questioned me on why I hadn't been to the ER given my situation. So, please do not ask me for mercy, I will tell you to "suck it up". Ha, well maybe. Back to the story. Thank the Lord for friends, they were life savers!! Several people took care of our kids, came to the hospital, prayed for us, and provided comic relief. I suppose you can say that Ronnie and I are very fertile. His little guys managed to defy our methods, fertilize, and implant an egg by my ovary. There is less than a 1% chance of this happening, just FYI.  Really though, I think I had a few lessons to learn about me and God. First, God is the opener and closer of the womb. I try to control and plan, but I am living proof that God can intervene whenever He sees fit. Second, I honestly had been prideful. I felt like something was special about me because I had four pregnancies that took absolutely no trying to happen, and I had no miscarriages. I really didn't realize it before, but I had really boasted myself up in that regard, if I'm being completely honest. I think I needed to be humbled too. I think God in His infinite wisdom orchestrated all this so that He and I could walk through this together and I could become more sanctified. Don't get me wrong, I was not a willing participant in some of the tests he challenged me on this past week. However, I am thankful for forgiveness. I'm still in somewhat of a state of shock, still don't know exactly how I feel. Thankful all I've got is today to ponder it.
   
Also, I'm also not saying I'm going to be the next Mrs. Duggar here. Ronnie and I will talk about what we will do for our future family planning. I trust that the Lord will lead us and imprint on us what is best for our family. If we get it wrong, I'm sure He is more than capable to kick our hind ends and get us where we need to be. While I was waiting for all of this to unfold, I think back to a song we sang on Sunday the 18th. So thankful for Jonathan choosing this song and Bethany for singing it. It was just such a blessing from the Lord. He is constant, He is good, and He is sovereign! Don't you love it when He does that for you? I'll leave you with the lyrics below. 


                                                        "Not For a Moment"

You were reaching through the storm
Walking on the water
Even when I could not see
In the middle of it all
When I thought You were a thousand miles away
Not for a moment did You forsake me
Not for a moment did You forsake me

Chorus:

After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me

You were singing in the dark
Whispering Your promise
Even when I could not hear
I was held in Your arms
Carried for a thousand miles to show
Not for a moment did You forsake me

Chorus:

After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me

And every step every breath you are there
Every tear every cry every prayer
In my heart at my worst
When my world falls down
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Even in the dark
Even when it's hard
You will never leave me
After all

Chorus:

After all You are constant
After all You are only good
After all You are sovereign
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me
Not for a moment will You forsake me